SINGLE LADY- DEALING WITH EMOTIONS

SINGLE LADY- DEALING WITH EMOTIONS...

Dealing with emotions like never before.

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls”. Proverbs 25:28
Emotions drive us to feel the way that we do. They are how we feel the way that we do. Everyone feels happiness, surprise, fear, sadness, and anger at some time or the other. These are emotions. So they are associated with a wide variety of feelings, thoughts and behavior.

Emotions are what make life worth living or sometimes ending. No aspect of our mental life is more important to the quality and meaning of our existence than emotions.
The great classical philosophers – Plato, Aristotle, and Spinoza had recognizable theories of emotions, conceived as” responses to certain sorts of events of concern to a subject, triggering bodily changes and typically motivating characteristic behavior.” Evan Dylan called it ‘’ the science of sentiments’’.
In totality, emotions can be described as an antagonist of rationality but also play an indispensable role in determining the quality and issues of life.
Emotions don’t determine your beginning but can determine your end.
Emotions are a natural and automatic response to changes in our situations and circumstances, and our circumstances are never constant all through life, so our emotions too never remain constant all through life.
A matured single woman waiting on the Lord for a life partner can sometimes be described as a ‘’ bundle of emotions’’. On a good and normal day, she goes about her daily pursuits not minding what she or the world considers being an inadequacy or a need in her life. On another day when she is in the company of friends with their spouses, she is reminded of her need and desire to have her own family.

As such, she becomes filled with regret, depression, fear, discouragement and despair. She forgets all that she has going for her and becomes overtaken by her emotions.

A woman who has just lost her husband has to go through the emotional trauma associated with the loss of a loved one and the readjustment s of going through life without her husband because, apart from taking decisions and total responsibility for the children, she no longer has anyone to share the events of the day with. She also becomes overwhelmed by her emotions.
Likewise a recently separated or divorced woman is emotionally scarred from disappointment.

A matured single woman who has just terminated a relationship that she hoped would end in marriage is disappointed and dejected.
People who have been hurt are angry, vulnerable and irrational in their thinking and that can be dangerous. All these women are hurt, weak, downtrodden and vulnerable and their situations can lead them into taking irrational decisions that they can later come to regret if their emotions are not properly handled. The anger and pain which they all feel may cause them to take the wrong decisions because they are not in control of their minds and their feelings.

Unfortunately some men take advantage of the woman’s weak state of mind and vulnerability and lure her into taking decisions and doing things that she would not ordinarily do.

I remember the case of a lady who was constantly battered by her husband almost to the point of death. It was later discovered that her husband had a serious mental condition. In an attempt to deliver herself from premature death from the hands of her violent husband, she decided to run as far away from him as possible, so she fled her matrimonial home and boarded the next flight out of the country to a country where she hardly knew anyone.

On board the flight, the reality of her dark and unhappy past, coupled with her bleak future hit her and she broke down and cried. She wept uncontrollably. Seated next to her on the plane, was a charming gentleman who comforted and listened to her throughout the flight. She ended up falling into the arms of this man, (who was married with kids), and a relationship ensued between them.

Their relationship produced a love child but instead of this bringing joy to the woman who had no kids from her marriage, it brought sorrow as she later discovered that she had been infected with the HIV virus by this man. Sad tale! If only she was able to deal with her emotions, she would have saved herself the agony she now has to face.

The truth is that you should not take decisions that would affect you for the rest of your life when you are emotionally disturbed. Never try to escape the hurt from one relationship by replacing the relationship with another, just like this woman; you may end up with a greater predicament. Always try to keep your emotions under control because we are open to self destruction if our emotions are allowed to run unchecked. Irrational decisions can be taken when we are emotionally downcast or overwhelmed.

Emotions can cause us to forget about God and this can be very dangerous because it is only God who can heal you and direct you when you are overwhelmed, The Bible tells us that the “Lord is near to those that are broken hearted and crushed in spirit” psalm 34:18. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can deal with our emotions. Emotional battles can only be overcome by the power of God’s word. So learn to talk to God about your situation.

Jesus was emotional and He understands our emotions for He experienced them too, so don’t be afraid to express your emotions to Him. In the Bible, Job said to God ‘’therefore I will not keep silent, I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul”… Job 7: 11. Job felt deep anguish and bitterness and he spoke to God about his feelings. Man could not help Job solve his problems instead they only made him feel worse so don’t try to look for help and solace with men.

As a single woman, don’t give into temptation and offers from married men to help you out of your situation. You will end up emotionally scared. When you are in an emotional upheaval and your emotions threaten to overwhelm you, express them openly to God in prayer. Like Job, our suffering may not be a result of sin, but we must be careful not to sin as a result of our suffering, Job did not hide his overwhelming grief.

He had not lost his faith in God so when emotionally overwhelmed do not lose your faith in God. God created our emotions and it is not sinful to express them as Job did.

If you have experienced a deep loss, a disappointment, or heartbreak, admit your feelings to yourself and to God.
Emotions have a central place in our moral life. They can be seen as a dangerous threat to morality and rationality. Envy, Jealousy, pride, gluttony, lust, anger, and greed are all emotions that we should avoid because if allowed to take root in our lives could not only rob us of our happiness, but could also lead us to immorality. So we must learn to manage our emotions because they cause us to want and not want. Instead of envy, jealousy, pride, lust, anger, greed we should embrace faith, hope, love, compassion, charity, prudence, temperance.

A single woman owes it to herself and to God to maintain her chastity. So you have to stay away from situations that may make you take decisions that you can later come to regret. The Bible says flee from all appearances of evil! It is only in doing this that you can ward off ungodly advances from men who seek to take advantage of your situation and challenge your stand for righteousness.
I pray that the Lord will give you the grace to deal with your emotions today. You will not become a slave to your emotions. If you have gone through life as an emotional wreck and you desire to be set free from the prison of emotional bondage today, please pray for yourself:

I command every spirit of hurt, rejection, anger, wrath, discouragement, sadness, discouragement, grief, bitterness, to come out of my emotions today. As from today, I bring my emotions under the control of the spirit of God that reigns in me, my emotions are now subject to my will, my will is no longer subject to my emotions. In Jesus name. Amen.

This prayer can only work for you, if you have surrendered your life to Jesus. If you are yet to do this, and you are ready to do so today, please say this prayer

Lord Jesus, I surrender my life to you today, I believe that you died for me. Forgive me of my sins and accept me into your kingdom today, set me free from every emotional bondage, in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you Jesus for saving me!
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